Bad with good.

It's June.
It is hot as balls.
I am not walking as much as I want to. And it is mainly because I won't let myself have it.
Why?
Because I feel good when I walk. And I don't do so good with good.

Today I wrote a very well worded, professional email and dealt with a subject I have been avoiding for about 3 years (one year actively avoiding.) And after a week of getting numbers together and allowing myself to really see that I do understand the business side of my job, today I composed the email and sent it.

And then I binged like there was no tomorrow. And I binged on gluten.

And right now I am letting myself sit with the feelings. I am being with the bloating and discomfort and full as a stuffed tick as well.

I am sitting with the good.

No matter what happens from this email, I know I am right for myself.
No matter if they tell me I am wrong and don't know what I'm talking about, I won't react, I won't freak.
I don't need them to tell me I am OK. Or that I am good.

I am good.